Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
