Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
