i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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