Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I have post one night stand depression
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