We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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