I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
