we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
