Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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