standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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