Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
