dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
