You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
