I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
