Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im six kinds of drunk right now
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
