Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
