So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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