would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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