You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
