the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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