Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
