I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
