Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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