Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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