I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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