it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
