I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize