I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
