one might say we're banned from that church
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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