So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
