I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
