I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I would fuck him just for his dog
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
