it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
