garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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