What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
