So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
