it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
