Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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