Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
