Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
