Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
