Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
