Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
