I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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