Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize