I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
