I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
