yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
