best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This house was built for laser tag.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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