WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
