yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
